I Miss Reading

If there is one thing (other than privacy during bathroom time) that I miss since becoming a mother, it is my reading time.  Don't get me wrong.  I still think that The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Good Night Moon, and The Tailypo  rock!  I just would like to read something without rhyme or repetition once in a blue moon.  I was fortunate (for lack of a better word) enough to have time to read the four Twilight books between last Thanksgiving and last Christmas.  Now, I love a vampire as much as the next girl, but my preferred genre is historical fiction. 

At some time after my divorce from "him," I started reading again.  I dabbled a little with James Patterson, but living alone doesn't always mix well with murder mysteries.  Then, I came upon Oprah's Book Club.  Now, many of you know that I am not really a fan of Ms. Winfrey.  In fact, I've been known to call her the spawn of Satan, but I must say that the woman has good taste in books.  I read most  of the original book club list.  I remember actually rushing home from school so I could get back to reading my "book of the week."  Among my favorites from the original list are Fall On Your Knees, A Fine Balance, and Stones from a River.  I loved spending my time getting lost in these make believe (although historically correct) worlds the authors so seemingly effortlessly poured onto the pages of the books I monthly (sometimes weekly) ordered from Amazon.com.  I branched out from the book club list to find other novels written by the authors The Great Oprah had chosen.  Then, I began to read some "deeper" novels that Dr. Karen Lacey suggested for me.  God bless her for introducing me to Ian McEwan!  Then, something happened.  Some time during my Paw Paw's illness and death, I just stopped reading.  I always said I'd get back to it.  From time to time I'd pick up Patterson's latest.  I became quite a fan of T.D. Jakes, so I read some of his books along with his suggested Bible passages.  I, however, never got back to the reading frenzy in which I found such pleasure from 1999 to 2003.  I completely ignored Oprah when she restarted her book club.  I guess when I heard her say "classics,"  I had flashbacks of high school teachers forcing me to read some irritating books that I believe until this day the authors themselves even hated.  No offense to Teresa Lowe and Sally Smith because I have nothing but love for you two masters of literary education.  So ..... my life blew up at the end of 2005 when my wonderful (now) husband decided after many years that he might want to get a little more serious with me.  A short engagement, followed by a July 2006 wedding, left me little time for reading.  After some BIG news in October of 2006, I found myself only interested in reading What To Expect When You're Expecting.  With Jackson's arrival in July of 2007, there was even less time for indulging in the pleasures of Barnes and Noble.  I hadn't given much thought to my desire to read more until today.  God forgive me, but I watched The Oprah Winfrey Show today.  Oprah has chosen a new book for her book club.  It is called Freedom by Jonathan Franzen.  Something about Queen Oprah's enthusiasm over this novel made me feel just a hint of longing for those afternoons spent reading on the sofa ... no television, no noise, no responsibilities.  Perhaps Jackson's new interest in the computer will give me an a little time once in a while to stick my nose in a book.  It really would be nice to enjoy a piece of literature that didn't include the passage, "Would you, could you with a goat?"  Rest in peace, Dr. Seuss, our collection of your works is quite profuse.  (Excuse any spelling or grammatical errors.  It is, afterall, 2 a.m.)  Peace out!

Staying Calm

I really want to stay calm.  I promise that this is the truth.  I get up each morning determined to have a good day, but in the past 40 years I have found that determination is not enough.  Something always happens, and I am not a strong enough person to let it roll off my back.  Everything upsets me.  I don't watch the news because I get angry.  I can't even watch the weather portion of the news this time of year because I get angry that it still gets into the 90s in September in Tennessee!!  (Damn you, Al Gore!!)  I certainly don't watch the news networks because there isn't enough Librium in the world to keep me calm enough to handle the way they go on and on and on, especially one of them that I won't name since my husband loves it.  The cat makes me angry by scratching the furniture and cabinets.  Telemarketers call my house after my number has been added to the no-call list for 3 years.  Jackson doesn't want to eat, watch TV, clean up, or take a nap, so I have to lose it with him.  Did I mention I married the perfect man?  He's so perfect, in fact, that God decided he needed at least one flaw, so He made my hubby a Democrat.  Guess how that affects my mood during political discussions or election years!  I have to talk to someone from Charter at least every other day.  The appliances in my house are all dying or suffering from some debilitating disease. It's like there is a cosmic force greater than I which is working to keep my blood pressure up.  (It continues to be 135/95 after this wonderful day.)  I know some "know it alls" would say, "You just have to choose to be happy, and stop letting everything upset you."  Uh, Braniac, if I had that kind of self-control, then would I have smoked for 9 years, and would I be this fat now?????  Anyway, if anyone finds a magic cure for constant irritation, let me know REALLY soon.  If y'all don't, just say a nice prayer for me after you read this.  For now, I'll have a glass of Merlot and go kill some zombies with Jackson.  Try to have a good day.  Peace out!!!

Public Toilets

Can someone please tell me what it is about public toilets that turns females into the most disgusting human beings on Earth?  I truly don't understand what the problem is.  Does everyone but me hover above the toilet at home and urinate all over the seat?  I think not.  Why do you have such a fear of public toilets?  Do you still believe you can catch an STD from a toilet seat?  Here's a little information for you.  The S in STD stands for SEXUALLY, not SITTING on a public toilet!!!!!!  I've known a few ladies in my lifetime who have been unfortunate enough to contract a sexually transmitted disease, and, let me tell you something, not one freakin' one of them got it from a dirty toilet seat!!!  I do truly believe that if someone has a ring worm or scabies on her butt cheek, then you have a right to NOT sit on a public toilet seat.  I even appreciate your not doing so.  The rest of you are just nasty.  Use the liners provided, or invest in a container of Clorox wipes for your purse.  The least you could do is wipe the seat after you urinate on it.  Unless a jellyfish decides to sting me on my butt cheek, I do not need your urine on my backside.  If you can't deal with sitting on a public toilet, keep your dribbling, nasty butt at home, or buy a pack of depends.

I Remember

There are some things I don't remember about that terrible day in 2001.  I don't remember what the weather was like outside.  I don't remember what I was wearing. I don't remember leaving my room during 3rd period planning to go to the main office.  Unfortunately, I do remember the look on Mrs. Margaret Thomas's face when I entered the office.  I remember tears pouring from her eyes as she told me that our country was under attack.  I remember racing to the library to huddle in a back room with other teachers and watch as the tragedy unfolded.  I remember holding hands with fellow teachers as Mrs. Stephanie Richardson said a prayer.  I remember walking back to my classroom feeling so helpless.  Worst of all, I remember the looks on my 8th graders' faces when I told them what had happened. After that, the day is just fuzzy flashes of news reports.  I don't remember driving home.  I don't remember having dinner.  I don't remember going to my cousin Kris's house.  In the weeks that followed, I DO remember how our country came together, and I DO remember how American patriotism was EVERYWHERE.  I never want to feel as shocked and devastated as I did on 9/11/01, but I wish this country's citizens always could remember the feeling of unified American pride that we had after that horrific day.

Facebook Hypocrisy

"The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity” - Andre Gide

I have experienced hypocrisy in so many forms that I had almost become immune to it.  Then, I discovered Facebook, and I developed a new digust for the hypocrite.  Now, I certainly believe you have the right to put anything you want as a status on the site, but don't get offended when I either either call you out on it or delete you from my friends list.

Spiders

Although I have never suffered from arachnophobia like two of my dear friends, I can't say that I am a great fan of the spider.  Sure, I can appreciate their beautiful webs, and I can love the fact that they eat nasty critters like flies and mosquitoes.  Still, I've never shed a tear over the death of any spider (other than Charlotte, of course).  I truly make an attempt to NOT kill most insects (excluding roaches) and their creepy, crawly friends, especially in front of my bug-loving son.  Today, though, I have had it.  Since I woke up this morning, I have killed 4 spiders!  I made a quick run through the house and counted 22 other spiders that I can't reach without a broom.  WTH is going on?  Did all the spiders decide to come live at my house?  Are all the arachnids Tennessee Volunteer fans that just decided to move close to Knoxville for football season?  Whatever the case may be, I am on a mission today.  I plan to kill every spider I see inside this house.  It is war!!!!!!!!!!My son will have to get over it.  Of course, it's ironic that I type this as Jackson watches "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends." 

Wine

Who made up the rules for wine?  I try to make myself like more red wines, but I find myself more drawn to the sweet and citrus-flavored white wines.  Mind you, I gave up Boone's Farm years ago.  I, however, can't go too far beyond a late harvest Riesling or a New Zealand Savignon Blanc.  Does that make me an uncouth red-neck?  I think not.  Also, who came up with the rule that red wines are best enjoyed at room temperature?  Who drinks anything at room temperature?  I am from the south.  If you drink it, it's either piping hot or cold as ice.  I do agree that red wines taste better when given a little time to breathe, but drinking anything at 76 degrees makes me want to spit up.  I really don't know why I'm talking about this tonight, except that perhaps I've had a little too much wine (mixed with a good dose of Nyquil).  I guess I just don't feel like discussing what our president is ruining today, or debating whether or not some freak-o religious group has the right to burn the Koran.  I'd rather just enjoy my Monkey Bay Savignon Blanc and go watch an episode of Ghost Hunters on SyFy.